


Big Boys Aren't Afraid of Thunderstorms

by MysteriousMidnight



Series: Dear Evan Hansen One Shots [5]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: All the usual tags for Dear Evan Hansen, Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Panic Attacks, Protective Connor, Treebros, only a little bit of angst, soft connor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24936586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysteriousMidnight/pseuds/MysteriousMidnight
Summary: When Evan spends the night at Connor's for the first time, a thunderstorm sets off a panic attack, and exposes an unhappy childhood memory.OR: Evan is afraid of storms. Connor comforts him.
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy
Series: Dear Evan Hansen One Shots [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757371
Comments: 16
Kudos: 149





	Big Boys Aren't Afraid of Thunderstorms

**Author's Note:**

> This was an anonymous one-shot request from a user on Tumblr :)

Connor rolled over, shifting to snuggle closer to Evan. He frowned, reaching a hand out, and feeling his mattress instead of his boyfriend. He opened his eyes; Evan wasn’t there. He shrugged, figuring he was just in the bathroom or something.

Except ten minutes passed and Evan didn’t return.

He sat up, yawning. “Evan?” he called. When Evan didn’t answer, he got out of bed and made his way into the hall. Evan wasn’t in the bathroom. He frowned, making his way downstairs to check the living room, kitchen, and basement. But Evan wasn’t anywhere. 

The heavy rain pounded on the roof as he made his way back upstairs, a clash of thunder shaking the house. He paused at the top of the stairs, worry setting in.  
He frowned. It was _highly_ unlikely, but... He crept down the hall to Zoe’s room and slowly opened the door, but Evan wasn’t there, either. He shut the door quietly, sighing, before making his way back to his room – and Evan still wasn’t there.

“Ev?” He called softly. “Evan? You’re scaring me.. Are you in here somewhere?” He turned his light on. “Evan, come on...”

The smallest whimper sounded from somewhere to his left. He turned around, but Evan wasn’t there... Except his closet door was cracked open. And he was almost positive it hadn’t been before he’d gone to bed.

“Evan?” He frowned, approaching his closet. He pulled the door open slowly, crouching down. He moved some clothes out of the way and found Evan, sitting against the back of the closet, legs curled up protectively, chin resting on his knees.

Evan jumped, turning to look at Connor with wide, terrified eyes. Connor could tell he’d been crying. 

“Ev... What happened?” Connor asked gently, moving to sit across from him. He reached forward and took Evan’s hands in his own. Evan’s hands were ice cold and shaking. His breathing was erratic, too, like he was hyperventilating.

“I-I... Sorry to, um.. Sorry...” Evan stammered. “I... I’m fine.. Go back to, um... You can go back to sleep. I... it’s fine.”

“You’re clearly _not_ fine. Talk to me, Ev.” Connor shifted so he could sit beside Evan, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and pulling him close. Sitting like that, it was even more obvious Evan was shaking like a leaf. 

Evan sniffled. “It- I’m... It’s dumb.”

“If it’s bothering you, it’s _not_ dumb,” Connor said firmly. “What’s wrong, babe?”

Evan snorted a laugh. “Babe?”

Connor chuckled. “Yeah, I felt dumb the second I said it. But hey, it made you laugh, so, I win!”

Evan snickered, shaking his head. He scooted closer to Connor, twisting so his legs were draped over Connor’s lap. He rested his head against Connor’s chest. Connor rubbed his back.

After a few minutes, Evan sighed in frustration. His panic attack was slowly ebbing away, and he was left feeling like an idiot. “I’m sorry... I just.. It’s so dumb, but...” He bit his lip. “When I was little, I was really scared of thunderstorms. Like, _really_ scared.”

Connor shrugged. “Sure, lots of kids are. That’s not dumb.”

“I know... But, well..” He sniffled. “I would run to my parents’ room and try to get into bed with them, but... My dad would yell at me. He, um.. He told me that-that big boys weren’t afraid of thunderstorms, and that boys didn’t cry. And he’d send me back to my room.”

“Your dad’s a dick,” Connor said matter-of-factly. “We’ve established this already, haven’t we?”

Evan huffed a small laugh. “Yeah. My mom was great about it, though-“

“Of course she was,” Connor nodded. “Heidi Hansen is The Best Mom Ever.”

“-And she made me this little Closet Cave. We put pillows and blankets in there, and a night light. And she bought me Ted the Teddy Bear – you know, your favorite snuggle buddy?” he teased.

Connor was grateful the closet was dark so Evan couldn’t see him blushing. “Hey, that teddy bear is _soft_ , okay? Makes a great pillow. But _you're_ my favorite snuggle buddy.”

Evan titled his head up and kissed Connor’s neck – the only spot he could reach from this angle. Connor shuddered; neck kisses were his weakness, and Evan knew that.

“Don’t play dirty and think I’ll change the subject,” Connor scolded playfully. 

“Damn, I was hoping that would work,” Evan sighed. “Anyway.. She bought me Ted the Teddy Bear, so he could growl at the thunder and scare it away.”

Connor snickered. “That’s adorable.”

Evan swatted his arm. “I’ve basically gotten over the fear of the thunder part, but...” He melted into Connor’s arms; Connor was running his fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp lightly with his nails. Evan groaned, dropping his head on Connor’s shoulder.

“But...?” Connor asked, smirking at how easily Evan melted into his touch.

“But... Sometimes, when there’s a thunderstorm in the middle of the night and it startles me awake... It, um.. It triggers a memory of my dad yelling at me.. And _that_ makes me have a panic attack.. So...” He shrugged. “So I have a panic attack and hide in the closet.”

“You haven’t been in the closet for a _long_ time,” Connor joked. He snickered when Evan swatted his arm. “Sorry, sorry. Trying to make you laugh again.” He paused, frowning. “I was just REALLY worried when I couldn’t find you.. Why didn’t you wake me up instead of hiding? I could have helped you through it.”

Evan sighed. “I’m sorry. I guess... Between the thunder waking me up, and then waking up in an unfamiliar room.. I just _really_ started panicking. So I just did the first thing that came to mind – and this was as close as I could get to my little Closet Cave.” He groaned, dropping his face into his hands. “That just sounds _so_ dumb, I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” Connor scolded. “Not dumb. Stop it.”

A loud clap of thunder shook the house. Evan jumped, whimpering. He curled closer to Connor, trembling again.

“Hey, hey,” Connor soothed, wrapping his arms tighter around Evan. “Why don’t we go make some brownies?”

Evan wrinkled his nose. “It’s, um.. Isn’t it like three in the morning?”

“So? Stress baking at three in the morning is VERY relaxing.”

“Really?” Evan asked doubtfully.

“Well.. I’m usually _baked_ while I’m baking at 3am. But, like.. we can skip that part tonight. Come on, it’ll be fun.”

Evan hesitated, but nodded. “O-okay..” 

They both crawled out of Connor’s closet, and Connor helped Evan stand. Instead of letting Evan go, he pulled him in close and captured Evan’s lips with his own. Evan wrapped his arms around Connor, deepening the kiss. When they finally broke apart, Evan grinned up at him. They held hands as they made their way down to the kitchen.

Connor placed his phone on the counter and turned on some music. He connected it via Bluetooth to the living room speakers and put it as loud as it could go so it would (hopefully) drown out some of the thunder.

Connor rifled around, getting mixing bowls, spoons, and ingredients together. He dropped them all on counter and beckoned Evan over to help. He had to keep Evan distracted.

“Okay, so I’ll tell you what to do and you do it, got it?”

“Hot,” Evan joked, waggling his eyebrows.

Connor rolled his eyes, grinning. “Dirty mind.” Evan grinned at him. “Okay, let’s get started on those brownies!”

They fell into a rhythm, Connor calling out instructions and Evan adding ingredients, mixing things, and whatever else was needed.

“Okay, it can go in the pan now.”

Evan nodded, using a spatula to spread the brownie batter into the pan Connor had handed him. When he was done, he set everything down and smiled up at Connor, but Connor was frowning at him. 

“What?” Evan squeaked nervously.

“You missed some,” Connor scolded, scooping some up onto his finger and plopping it on Evan’s nose.

“Hey,” Evan protested, wrinkling his nose in annoyance. He tried to wipe it away, but Connor grabbed his hand and stopped him. Then he leaned in and licked it off.

Evan gasped, then giggled. He wrapped his arms around Connor’s neck, pulling him in for a kiss.

“Don’t be gross.”

They jumped apart, startled by Zoe’s presence in the kitchen.

“Your music is loud,” she grumbled, grabbing Connor’s phone, punching in his code, and shutting the music off.

“Wait, how did you know my passcode?” Connor asked, eyes wide.

“You’re predictable,” she shrugged, yawning. “Are you making brownies at three in the morning?”

“Yup,” Connor grinned. “In fact, oven’s ready.” He grabbed the brownie pan and plopped it into the oven, then set the timer.

“You’re sharing those brownies, right?” Zoe questioned, crossing her arms. “I mean, since you DID wake me up with your music...”

Connor rolled his eyes. “Yeah, sure.”

~*~*~

They let the brownies cool for a few minutes after taking them out of the oven, then Connor cut them into squares and plated them. They took the brownies into the living room. Connor sat on the couch, and Evan crawled next to him, swinging his legs over Connor’s lap. Zoe rolled her eyes affectionately at them, sitting on the other side of the couch. They each took a brownie, and Connor turned on Netflix in the background.

They ate half the brownies, and made their way through two movies. The storm had stopped, and the sun was rising by the time they all shuffled back off to bed. Zoe mumbled a good night, closing her door behind her.

Connor and Evan collapsed into Connor’s bed, Evan curling close to Connor.

“Thanks for being the best boyfriend ever,” Evan mumbled, fighting back a yawn. He dropped his head onto Connor’s shoulder and sighed. 

“Thanks for trusting me with a shitty memory,” Connor said, kissing the top of Evan’s head. “Now get some sleep, kay?”

Evan nodded, eyes fluttering closed. “Mhmmmm, kay. Love you.”

“I love you, too, Ev,” Connor murmured, giving him one last kiss on the head before snuggling close and closing his eyes.


End file.
